Sassy Gay Friend: Anna Karenina
by TinyTora
Summary: Title pretty much says it all. Slight spoiler, if you don't know what happens at the end of the book.


**A/N: **This was my summer reading book for 12th grade. Absolutely loved the book (but the 2012 movie was horrendous in comparison), but after some really long discussion with my friends, we wondered what would happen if there was a sassy gay friend. Like in those sassy gay friend youtube videos... So yeah, this fanfic picks up at the train scene (Anna on her way home to Alexei) where Anna meets Vronsky a second time.

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><p>Anna gazed into Vronsky's eyes longingly and fiddled with her hands. This wasn't right, was it? No, but she was stuck with a man she could never bring herself to love. Why should she be deprived of love? This man, this handsome young man standing right in front of her, could give her what her husband could never give her. She waited in eager anticipation for the words that were then about to tumble out of his mouth. But then a familiar voice rang in her ears.<p>

"Hey, gurl, hey~ What are-whoa, whoa, whoa." Anna's longtime friend unexpectedly sashayed up to the two and flipped back part of his bangs. He shot Vronsky an incredulous look. "_Who's he_?" He pointed an accusing finger at Vronsky.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?" Vronsky took a defensive step forward, his gaze sharpening. "Anna, who is this man?"

"He's a friend of mine," she trailed off momentarily to shoot her friend a look that said _'what are you doing here?'_ before continuing her explanation. "His name is Nikita. We first met several years ago: he is acquainted with Dolly-"

"That's right, pal, we've known each other waayyy longer than you've known Anna. I mean, honey, you _danced_ together for one night. I could _hardly_ say that would elicit an affair. I went to dinner with Alexei one day. Does that mean I just had to sleep with him? No it does not."

"Nikita, please, let me finish." Her friend harrumphed but soon settled down. "We often write letters to each other. I haven't seen him in so long-he had gone abroad for some time, you see-so I am rather surprised to see you here now."

"What can I say, my affair senses were tingling." The two opted to dismiss Nikita's comment and continue talking.

"Hmph, you expect me to listen to this man here? I won't have it. What does he know?" Vronsky snarled unhappily at Anna's friend.

"Oh, no, honey. No, you did not just say that," Nikita snapped his fingers in that trademark sassy way of his. Disregarding Vronsky after a short stare-down, Nikita soon turned his attention to Anna and started talking as though Vronsky didn't exist.

"Listen, hun. You don't wanna go off with this man. Trust me. I mean, look at that mustache: if that doesn't say 'pedo-stache,' to you, then you have some serious problems to sort out. And look," he motioned wildly with his hand, "at those _clothes_. I mean, sweetie, that is _so_ last century."

Anna could only stand there, mouth ajar. She made an attempt to say something but was swiftly cut off by her friend, "Ah buh buh buh. Anna honey, this is in your best interest. Trust me. You are going to have sex with this man and burst into tears right after. You are going to _kill_ yourself because of this man! And let's not forget about dear Seryozha. I mean, you would forget about your son for _this_? Like, whoa there sweet-stuff, we need to figure out our priorities."

"But I lo-" Vronsky, who had tried to say something, was also cut off by Nikita, who had held up a hand.

"You see this hand? You see this hand? No. It's saying no. You don't love this beautiful woman. This," he motioned between the two with his hand, "is not true love. Levin and Kitty is true love. Okay? Okay. Now I'm done here. Goodbye."

He grabbed Anna by her hand and led the dumbfounded woman away from the worst mistake she could have ever made in her life.

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><p><strong>AN:** Soooo yeah. Second fanfiction of my life. Hopefully I didn't get too carried away with it ('^.^) Please tell me what you think~


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